“Beautiful.”

Regardless of how it started
Regardless of how it began
Regardless of the twists and turns
Regardless, I know how it ends.

I still think you’re beautiful.
Despite the cuts and bruises.
Despite the tears and cries.
I still think you’re beautiful.
Even when you smile, and when you laugh.
Even when you trip, and when you fall.
I still think you’re beautiful.
Even as you left me in the dirt.
Even as I watched you pass me by.
Even as I sat alone, begging you to hear me cry.
Even as I hurt, and pained.
Despite all of that
I still think you’re beautiful.

“Barely Moving.”

Sometimes, despite everything

We still have to keep moving.

Its how we keep ourselves alive, y’know?

Tired.
Barely moving.
A step carries a thousand pounds.
A door weighs a hundred tons.
All the worse, with a soul that weighs you down.

Hungry.
But I can’t eat.
The spoon won’t lift.
My arms won’t move.
I sit alone at a table meant for two.
Where are you?

Sad.
But I can’t cry.
I stare at an empty wall
With a bottle in my hand.
I hang from the ceiling.
My feet in the air.
Unable to land.

“Where’d you go?”

I never thought I’d miss you this much.

I never thought you’d stay on my mind this long.

I’m sorry. I just can’t let go.

My room’s a mess.
You’re in my head.
I think I’m dead.
Where’d you go?
I’m alone.
I’m by myself.
I scream for help.
Where’d you go?
I miss your lips.
I miss your arms.
I miss your soul.
Where’d you go?
Just let me go.
Please let me go.
I’m all alone.
Where the hell did you go?

“Him.”

You ever felt love before?

It’s not butterflies. It isn’t a rush of blood; it’s nothin’ like that.

It’s more like… a knife. A knife you can feel slipping into you, but instead of pulling it out, you let it sit, and bleed.

Leave me again.

Make him taste your lips, the same ones I kissed, just like we did.
Make him sing all the songs I wrote for you, just like I did.
Make him put his hands on your hips, and dance, just like we did.

Leave me for him.

Does he hold and caress you the way that I did?
Does he dry off your tears the way that I did?
Does he make you laugh the way that I did?

Leave me again.

Make him cry, and gut his heart out, just like you did with me.
Make him beg for you to come back, just like you did with me.
Make him write his words, with your love in every letter, just like you did with me.

Leave me alone.

Do you still remember, all the things that we did?
Do you still think love is real, when he drained you to the very last bit?
Do you still miss his hands, his smile, and the taste of his lips?
Do you still miss the way we that we loved, the way that we kissed?

Do you still think I need you, even after all this shit?

“Sacrifice.”

There is nothing more gut-wrenching

Than a child who makes sacrifices for their parents.

She wants the world
But I can only give her this room
She wants to laugh
But I can only make her smile
She wants to live
But it’s all I can do to keep her alive.
I know he’s tired
And so, I play quietly to let him sleep
I know he’s trying
And so, I cherish everything he’s bought for me
I know he wants to give me the world
But this room, this smile, this life
It’s enough for me.

“The First.”

 

After a lot of thinking, and a whooole lot of feedback, I’ve decided to start sharing my writing. I first started writing as a means of venting. Because of this, a lot of my writing has been written, forgotten, and never opened again. But with a lot of encouragement from close friends, I’ve decided to start writing on the side. Please be aware, I don’t write because I want people to like my writing. I write to express emotion, and to hopefully invoke those same emotions from you, the reader. Thanks for reading.